Maplehurst Ramblings


Thanks to our ever increasing need for electricity, we are host to a lattice of pylons in and around the locale. Just South of my house I can see a whole string of them skirting Botnar Towers. Apparently a previous incumbent paid the electricity board a goodly sum of money to divert the pylons from above Ivorys house to the perimeter of the estate. The result is that the pylons cannot be seen from there but anyone facing South from Maplehurst gets an eyeful of galvanised metal. I actually saw one of them arcing in the last rainstorm we had - the man from Seeboard reckoned that this was pretty normal - pretty scary if you ask me. Hopefully Seeboard will start running sub-surface conduits soon. I am sure it would be cost effective.

About a month ago, the papers ran an article stating that pylons were bad for our health as they caused cancer in children. I have held this view for a long time as I have a theory I will now share with the insomniacs out there.

Thanks to the likes of Faraday and Maxwell we know a lot about conductors, charges and magnetic fields. Basically, the theory goes that if an electrical conductor moves across a magnetic field, a current is generated and if a current moves through a conductor a magnetic field is generated. This is how electric motors and alternators work.  We now have a nice little relationship between conductor, magnetic field and current. This is the crux of my "theory". Actually the theory is little more than a hunch but even Einstein started somewhere!

Basically, the pylons have a massive current moving along the wires which produces a magnetic field radiating outwards. When this magnetic field hits our bodies it comes across a conductor - our bodies are nearly 80% water and the bodily fluids are laden with conducting salts. This magnetic field in the conductor causes small electric currents to be generated in our bodies.

This is where the science becomes blurred.

I reckon that it is not wholly impossible for these minute electric currents to affect our DNA and cause our internal regulatory mechanisms to go haywire spontaneously. That is when the health problems arise. Unfortunately I have not yet found any volunteers to "assist" me in my experiments but I shall report on my progress as and when I make any!

I also have a theory on playing the stock markets that involves choosing price moving averages based on the Fibonacci sequence. That too needs a bit more work which is probably why I haven't made very much money out of it yet!

Parish Council AGM

The Parish Council was a rather mundane affair. It was, however, rather nice to see the "footpath posse" get a mention in dispatches for creating a record turnout of nearly 70 residents at one council meeting. The meeting ended on a slightly discordant note when some of the council members felt that it was not appropriate to discuss matters concerning a play area at the end of the meeting. Obviously "any other business" has a different meaning for some people. 

On the way home from the meeting, we dropped Dave Toye off at his house and headed home via Broadwater Lane. Just before the Old Post Office I had to swerve quickly in an attempt to avoid hitting a toad that was crossing the road. My two passengers were a bit shaken but we got out and surveyed the carnage. Miraculously the toad was unscathed so Penny Bullen picked it up and deposited it safely on the verge. It is rare to see a toad  now (second toad that night actually! DT) and I am glad that I didn't kill it.

Ground water levels

The ground water levels show little sign of receding. My friend and neighbour Kevin Black was digging a post hole on Park Lane today and within minutes the water had filled up top within a foot of the surface level. The council have been back several times to fill in potholes but as the tarmac is saturated with water, any in-fill isn't bonding and soon gets washed away leaving the same hole exposed one more. the pattern seems to be repeated all over the place. Still, at least we can rely on good old BT to carve up the verges for us.


Foot and mouth has got a lot worse recently, Biffa are tipping carcasses in one of their pits. I am amazed they have a licence to transport the animals from Kent into a disease-free area. I have been keeping a close eye on what has been flying around the internet recently - it seems that you simply can't keep a good conspiracy down! There is a rather excellent website that is run by someone calling himself Tomas Tompion. Access it via the URL I have given you and register for twice weekly updates - apparently Tony Blair himself is a subscriber so it must have something going for it.

Mercifully, Sussex has been spared so far and we should all keep our guard up and do what it takes to prevent this vile disease from taking hold in our area. Clive Warren pointed out to me that a lot of the farms in the area have placed straw across their thresholds but that in some cases the strip was narrower than the circumference of most farm vehicles tyres. For example a 6' diameter tractor tyre will have a circumference in excess of 18' (using 3.14 X the diameter). It would be necessary to have at least this width of straw to be effective. Some strips are easily under 10' and would need to be doubled to have an effect. It is little things like this that make all the difference.

Gardeners Question Time (Copsale Hall Production!)

This was a great idea. Janie and I went (Janie went and I was press-ganged) and we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. A few comments were raised about our Leylandii hedge. I was tempted to play Devils advocate and get a TPO placed on the rather splendid screen but the surgeons arrived the next day and took 3' off the top. The result is that we now have something resembling a hedge (and not the Borneo Jungle). This should allow plenty of scope for the bungling amateurs like me to wield the hedge trimmer with some measure of success. On a more serious note, it was a superb night and I think that most people left the hall having actually learnt something. There's not many nights where you can say that has happened!


Simon  McClean 3rd April 2001     last months MR's